hpdw

14 days sober this time and something I need off my chest .
The emotion that is dominating is one of anger and is manifesting in general hostility towards people outside the immediate family .
People at work just p**s me off as do shop assistants , other road users, most neighbours .I just cant tolerate most people and I know its not them at fault its me . I'm angry because we have a family holiday booked for September ( all inclusive apartments in Spain somewhere I cant remember where as the Mrs sees to it . ) its one of those places where you pay everything upfront and all food and drink is free thereafter .
I don't want to go because i've blew it . I cant drink and dont want to drink but cant imagine me enjoying myself being around all that booze morning noon and night . I'm angry at being an alcoholic and all this anger is tiring me out . I'm not talking to my brothers and sister because even they bug me with they're smugness about life . I didn't turn up at a recent gathering with them because I was on a selfish binge of my own and I'm so angry and missing it as one brother travelled 450 miles and I couldn't travel 15 to see him . This f****g alcoholism has got me so angry I feel I'm sometimes going crazy .

Thanks for listening .