Originally Posted by
hopeful4 
I am so sorry. I can only say that just because you realize that you cannot be with someone does not mean that the caring goes away. And that is totally fine. He is in a toxic place and all you can do at this point in my opinion is to move forward and turn him over to God.
Many hugs.
I am glad you posted that, hopeful4, and I'm glad I came here tonight and read it. I haven't been here in weeks, and I don't want to hijack this thread. I am trying to move forward from my own situation (friendship with a recovering addict), so there has been no reason for me to come here since I'm no longer technically a friend.
We don't stop loving them when we stop living with them.
It's like they're addicted to their doc and we become addicted to them. Are we addicted to them, or to having someone to care for, or do we become addicted to the need to have someone to "take care of"? But we can't.
What we can do is what hopeful4 says, turn them over to God and pray for them (and for ourselves).