Thank you everyone for the support. I really needed this, and I need to stick with this forum. Just reading around other posts is extremely helpful and reminds me why I'm doing this and that I really do have a problem that I need to work on. Today will be five days. The bar scene isn't ideal, but I only need to make it through two and a half more months. Whether I can go to school or not, I'm done bartending. In a way, bartending has been helpful. It keeps my problem at the front of my mind and keeps me from getting complacent. It also helps to see many of my customers and where the are at in their lives, which is somewhere I don't want to be in ten or twenty years.