Originally Posted by here4theflowers

Like you, issues related to a relationship have triggered what's recently become my downward spiral into heavier and heavier drinking. I CAN go days without drinking, but more often than not, I CHOOSE to drink (and sometimes even really crave it!) and I drink to excess (also wine). I have left my relationship of many years and got out alive with my children, thankfully. There were those who thought I'd never get out alive and I spent a lot of time trying to leave. The stress from the past, some on-going stalking issues and guilt over dropping out of my master's program while almost finished writing my thesis lead me to drink. Today is my Day 1. I do not want to keep in this cycle and have it worsen. Leaving is very hard, but I am sure you can find the strength to do so. It's really hard especially if you don't have a strong family or friend network of support, Pressing charges and sticking with them is incredibly hard but so well-worth it. Please update us on how things are going, people do care. ***edited to add, I just realized how cathartic writing out the above is. I am very embarrassed about dropping my master's program, it hit at a time I was dealing with renewing a protective order and intense stalking was going on, I was out of my mind, after thinking I had finally found a safe place. I have to face this guilt and the steps to correct it, in order to keep my drinking under wraps. I am so afraid of permanently failing and never finishing, on top of the embarrassment and the relationship trauma, it keeps driving me back.