HE gets angry -- then goes on raging about money or his arrest or his life -- and will say things like "my life is getting worse every day...." "there is nothing to look forward to..."
Then it will go to -- I should just die. You and my kids can get my life insurance and you will be rid of me ....
Sounds like me when i drank also sounds like me once in a blue moon now that i'm sober. Overall i'm happier now but i do still have my moments. Point being I dunno maybe ranting and raving once in a while is ok but it shouldnt be the general overall tone.
Verbal abuse can be worse the physical.
I'd prioritize. Make staying sober the first priority because without that not much else is gonna make you happy anyhow. Then as your sober and you build up some confidence if he is still an issue get counseling or leave etc.. address the problem by grabbing the bull by the horns (IE counseling leave etc..) but having glass of wine is not addressing the problem its just a crap coping mechanism that will lead to you being an alcoholic if it has not already.
Besides if your not drinking its one less thing he can pin on you. and its not like its doing ;your body any good anyhow so whats the point.
But I'd keep it simple start with quitting the drinking. Grin and bear his BS and think over your next course of action with him with a sober clear mind. and by sober clear mind I mean weeks and maybe a month or more of sobriety before you do anything drastic etc.. this will give you the time to really process it all and think of a good solution as well as adapt and adjust to sober living.