Maybe it’s not about turning off those feelings but instead working through them and figuring out what they are all about. Sitting with them and not acting on them we can learn allot about ourselves.
And at this point in time it no longer has anything at all to do with him or his addiction and has everything to do with you and yours.
What NEED in you got filled the other night by going to meet him? Really think about that. When you were heading off to meet him what were your expectations?