Originally Posted by EndGameNYC

By definition, self-discipline and self-control mean stopping ourselves from doing something that's natural for us to do or that we dearly want to do, and that is also not in our better interests to do it. Alternatively, self-discipline requires that we do something that we would prefer not to do, even though doing it would be in our better interests. It's often experienced as another version of self-sacrifice. This is why -- although it's often necessary in early sobriety -- willpower generally does not work in the long-term. It wouldn't have worked for me. People who are able to remain abstinent by maintaining self-discipline alone over time invite continuous and mounting resentments. The word 'resolve' is often used to describe willpower, but if resolve were enough to stay sober and live a better life, we wouldn't be here. Willpower during a moment of weakness can also be a valuable tool but, again, was not for me a reliable strategy -- and certainly not a plan -- to remain sober. I've long maintained that our greatest gift and the source of our greatest fears is independence. This was true for me. The power to choose. The power to be who we are, without reservation. The only way to overcome this, or at least manage it, was to work through my fears. Thinking alone gets me nowhere. Although in many ways the world gives us what we need, it can never give us what we want. Life is simply much too short to settle for less than is available to us. We only ever come to know this by getting and staying sober.