Originally Posted by
Aquarius94 
I'm seeking for that desire and willingness to change. I just hope it comes sooner than later. I'm feeling hopeless, helpless, and VERY afraid. If you have made it this far of me rambling on, I appreciate you taking the time to hear me and I hope I hear from you.
Seeking and hoping won't change anything.
Trust me when I tell you, you can 'seek and hope' your way into a pretty desperate, awful place of consequence and regret.
Seeking and hoping are a waste.
ALL you need to do, is CHOOSE.
You've laid out a very sound set of reasons to choose a life of sobriety and improve your life greatly in immeasurable ways that will astound you and lead you to joyous places.
You either CHOOSE to do that....
Or - keep "seeking and hoping".
Which is really just another way of saying "not choose to change".
By defaulting to the path of no choice - you are effectively choosing to change - for the worse.
One day, as you continue to seek and to hope.... you will finally hit a point at which you either have no real choice but to change, or you die.
That's pretty much it.
What a tremendous blessing it would be to choose at such a young age to embrace sobriety and live life happy, joyous and free.