I have a suggestion;
THANK YOURSELF!!!
Yes, seriously..... look at yourself in the mirror and say "THANK YOU!!!"
Because that choice you made.... that experiment you ran.... that decision to give it another whirl has definitively proven to you what result you'd get. And will always get (more likely worse).
SO.... give yourself a pat on the back and say thank you. Also, be sure and let yourself know you're convinced now.... you don't need anymore experiments... you have sufficient evidence.
Then, make a new choice. Choose sobriety. And get on with ACTION in that direction.
Sobbing over it, beating yourself up, getting all buried in shame and regret... none of those are actions. None of those will move you in the direction of sobriety. None of those will do anyone any good whatsoever. Those are just a giant pity party and they're a trick to keep you in non-action and that will just escort you right back to the same old cycle again. Is that what you want?
NO. It's not. You just told yourself that, don't be silly.
Now, get to it. Life is short and precious and beautiful and sobriety will reward you with a gazillion clear examples of that beauty. Get to it.