But my drinking is primarily about hurting myself, not helping....it is about creating chaos, not controlling it....it is about keeping those memories, not forgetting. Something has to give...it has to change....and I know now and today that thing is drinking. I am not going to be defined by my past and I am not going to be controlled by alcohol.
Wow - I could have written this word for word. We need to somehow learn to like and then love ourselves, we have to believe we are as valuable as everyone else in this world and grow our self respect. It's something that after 46 years I still struggle with but remaining sober helps me become stronger.