I told my husband after nearly a year sobriety, while I could understand his
resentment, lack of trust, etc. I was not willing to be a punching bag forever,
and he needed to process it, say it clearly and with a therapist if needed, and move on.
He mostly has, but since he now has a serious drinking problem of his own, our
dynamic is different than yours.
It was beginning to put my recovery at risk, and I was not willing to accept that.
You have to know what you can endure.