I never understood why I was immediately accused of cheating. I always chalked it up to maybe they think it's the ONLY "logical" reason we'd want to leave. Or maybe because it's the easiest thing. Who really knows. They just want you to hurt like they hurt, I get that, so I try to ignore it.
And you're completely, 100% right! Who wants to be affectionate, intimate or otherwise with someone that hurts you (or smells like a keg party)??? Maybe our ASOs have the same issues buried deep down in there where no one is allowed to look. They hurt because they weren't good enough or whatever it may be and we tried to prove it to them that they were and agree to everything they want and crawl thru glass to prove our love. Then we wise up. Make boundaries. And in my case, no contact or interaction of alcohol was involved, then we must pay the price. They want their cake and to eat it too I suppose.