Oh Hun-that's what alcoholics DO. If I brought up the latest abuse to discuss, I was screamed at "well, you're not perfect...." and then a list of my sins showing that in fact I wasn't perfect. No sh%t. This line is THE alcoholic mantra abd excuses everything they just did and will do in the future-and takes the focus off of the topic you've brought up to address abd flips it to you to make you feel bad-it's classic bait and switch-and it's abuse. My ex was a master at this.
Listen, you will be ok!! I promise!!
You realize the codependency, you see it, so let's get that figured out. Then you won't make the same mistakes going forward.
Hugs.