I wanted to include everyone into a group hug this morning.
Feeling much better. That ugly little codependency voice was whispering to me during the past few days.
Last night, I saw an article on SR main page. And I will share the quote:
"The only healthy way to practice acceptance with an individual in active addiction and avoid enabling is to simply realize there is a problem which is bigger than the individual. It is one only professional help can address. Rather than accepting the individual’s destructive behavior and resulting chaos, refuse to allow either in your life by suggesting professional help and emotionally detaching until that help is received."
This is what I did and am still doing. We divorced because I put my foot down. Sometimes you have to keep reminding yourself you are actually doing the right thing and are not betraying anyone.
And this quote really hit the spot:
"The latter is not a cruel action, nor is it selfish. It is a practice in self-care—setting personal boundaries which protect against dysfunction. Moreover, it is an act of love toward the individual in active addiction because it holds them accountable, attempts to raise them to a higher standard of functioning and ultimately seeks to spur them into healing and recovery."
So, it is like giving them a bitter cough syrup to swallow. It is for their own good. And it is not your fault it is the only effective medicine out there.