Originally Posted by LBrain

Healing… While working in the yard I get a lot of time to think. Recently (yesterday) I was going over my life a bit. And meditating on some things, and sometimes just being with the birds and experiencing ‘life’ outside. I’ve done a lot of damage in my time. And now that I have few real friends is a testament to how drinking altered my personality at times. I can’t change others nor can I change others opinions or experiences of me. Sure I can take the opportunities to make things right with people. But still it is up to them to forgive past behaviors. I know I tried and the only real thing I can do is live better and not make the same mistakes going forward. Living sober is all I can do now.
Knowing that I am doing my best now, for me, is enough to overcome the feelings of disappointment I have allowed my past to manifest in myself and others in me over time. I cannot dwell on the past, but occasionally use it as a reminder… I am still caught in a funk. Knowing that every job opportunity, in my field, that there is a nationwide bulletin on the internet if the person vetting candidates will find easily. It is on my mind a lot. All you have to do is “google” ‘LBrain’ and sure as *** it shows up.
Having worked a job that took up what seemed like 90% of my life, most of my social connections were with ‘work’ people. Work people have abandoned me – I am not good company to keep it seems. Now, the few friends I have are scattered or busy with their own lives. SR has become my social connection, and my solace.
Meitheal, is a good example of how SR has helped me the past couple years. Reading about other’s successes or how they are coping with life is inspiration for me. I was fortunate that I just decided to quit drinking and was able to do it. It was by no means easy. But I made a commitment to myself that I was never going to allow alcohol to affect my life ever again. If you don’t know, I lost my career due to an alcohol related event (the google reference above). In retrospect I am amazed I made it as far as I did. SR has broadened my outlook and I have learned much from the many who frequent these pages. And I count you all as my friends.
I sometimes ask for advice without really asking. Or I perused the forums and picked up a few tidbits of information that has helped me along the way.
You've all been a part of my healing process. Thanks everyone.