Eliasson,
If your man provides for you then that is a plus.
If he is abusive, it is a minus or worse.
Mental abuse might be as bad a physical, but it depends.
My wife can be mentally abusive at times. But, I stand up to her and she backs off.
She gets over my rebellion quickly. She tends to not dwell too much. That is a plus.
I am learning to do that too. Dwelling on what is over is not the answer. Right?
I do not know how old you are, or your life experiences so I offer to focus on the present and plan for the future.
Start saving some money, do some excercise, take care of your home. Stuff like that.
Now that you are drinking again, they tell me it is harder to stop. I know what you feel. After 3 months clean you needed that buzz. Then the physical addiction got you again.
When you crave booze, eat something sweet. Try to stay full. The crave will stop.
In closing here, if you have tried everything and it did not work, try God.
Google..the Lord's Prayer....say it to yourself.
Then ask God to help you. He will.
If you are not being helped by God, the other guy has control of you.
Hence, the hell on earth feelings.
Sincerely,
