Escaped...
For crying out loud, how bad can it get? I was in the psych ward today for a few hours. I could stand being there so that was a step forward.
Then all I wanted was to get out of there and drink. So I bloody escaped.
I was there voluntarily, but on a closed unit. They will open the door for you if you're allowed to decide to leave.
But... I know from past experience that they don't make it easy if you're bad off. They will let you out. But they will also try to talk you out of it. You have to wait for a doctor. Which always takes longer than you expect.
So I followed a dinner-cart employee out, took a route out that I knew was not watched very much. Panhandled some money here and there and now I'm back.
This is not good. I am lost. All I can say is: help me.
I did contact everyone to explain everything that happened. And I'm still welcome there. And I should be there. But I'm so conflicted, black and white at the same time. Which has me stuck.
Next plan is: go there tomorrow. Again. And try again. But I need some help from you kind people. I'm in such a terrified state.