"This is SUCH a codependent response, so forgive me in advance... But fear of his reaction. Of the "that's just great, JL. I moved all the way here for you/for us and this is how you treat me..." The fear of him being upset/angry with me (despite the fact that I know he isn't logical), of potentially having him bad mouth me, not like me, and the fear of the unknown. I don't think he'd ever do anything malicious/violent etc. but he's unstable so he's unpredictable. It's all of that...."
Jennifer He counts on you feeling like this. Now I'm not saying he is wringing his hands together saying " ha ha I've got her right where I want her" but his AV is. This is what I was talking about in my last post to you saying we take hostages.
He might feel all the ways you mention in the post above now . When and if he ever gets sober he will see it for what it is. You need to save yourself from this destructive relationship and spend time wiith your mother while you have it.