Thanks guys. Miss P of course, drop in any time.
I am just at an all time low today. This disorder caused me to attempt to check out years ago and as a result my friends dropped me like trash.
Losing them dropped me to a low I didn't think I could get to. And I feel it isn't fair, I have ld, I am in the closet, I couldn't handle that knowledge on my own. And I never even got to say "Hey this is why I did what I did, maybe you can understand it was a lot to handle". And it's embarrassing anyway I mean how would you even tell someone something like that? My life is colored by shame and bad experiences.
I never heard from anyone I used to work with that I sent cards to.
I was fired from my last full time job with no notice and no reason that they would give me. And that's when I lost everything and now with all of this getting real in a hurry with these tests I know I am just defunct. The way I have been treated in life just confirms that I'm right to feel this way. It has broken me.
I was thinking on my last job as well, how hard I had to work and try just to get through the day, wracked with anxieties, it was a nightmare. I don't see that changing for me. I'm also worried for my future, how I will ever make a decent living or anything at all. Or even be a complete human being.
It's breaking me down.