Originally Posted by
jenniferlynne76 
Yes! Excellent, excellent advice. In general it would do me well to begin adopting new habits to help break the old patterns. They've become SO engrained in the last few months especially....when he moved here and I clung to him, no matter what, to avoid going home to face my now XH. New job, new place...now I think I may need some new patterns/activities to help me break the old ones.
Yup, new patterns are the way to go. It's also much easier to do when your environment changes, as you don't have the "triggers" of the old patterns.
It might indeed be a good idea to adopt new patterns now. The more time passes, the more you'll develop patterns and then, they'll be harder to break.
Here are some ideas:
- if you don't want reminders of him in your home, don't ever have him over again. Under no circumstances. Even breaking up. I don't know about you, but I won't want the constant reminder of that discussion when I look at my new couch. On the practical side, I would be able to leave at a moment's notice if he goes bat-sh!t-crazy.
- Try new activities. You'll be having fun, maybe making new friends, spending time doing what you love, and you'll be too busy to call/text him.
- When you feel like relaxing at home for the evening, but your phone on airplane mode, or simply turn it off.
- If you feel you you're so conditionned to text him, change his name in your phone. I went with Fucktard, but feel free to be creative. It should be a good reminder of not calling.
- If changing his name in your phone isn't enough, there are apps out there to prevent drunk texting or texting an ex. I'm sure you can find one that would prevent you from calling.
- Apart from hobbies/activity, I would suggest a high intensity sport if you're into sports. I swear my punching bag technique has been much improved by my break up. Also, a nice dose of endorphines is always good for the mood!