I don't know Trach. I mean he says I changed things for him, he quit binge drinking each weekend, I chased off a friend of his who treated him like trash and he lost a little weight and pays more attention to his diet. But I wonder if he's just trying to find a silver lining.
I am always hyper aware of his moods and everything and and maybe that's just from the way I grew up being on hyper alert for everyone's moods in case I was gonna get it again. But I am always worried he is upset or something and just not saying so. Although, I could easily slide into depressing thoughts and behaviors and suicidal thoughts like I did recently and he'd think I was just fine. I mean he said he thought everything was fine and I'd been in bed for weeks, barely leaving. So that's a little confusing to me. I feel as if I pay more attention to him in that way, a lot more. Is that wrong?
I can't tell. I doubt everything now. Every single thing.