I empathize with you, I felt the exact same way when I realized I could never have a drink ever again. It is grief, we have lost something. Alcohol has served a purpose for us, we drank to forget, to feel alive, to feel numb, we drank for so many reasons, but in the end, it is the very thing that does the most damage to us.
So grieve your loss, and then lift your head and move on. Your life will improve immensely. I promise.
If you need someone to talk to, you can PM me anytime.