Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
My DEEPEST fear is that I WILL be my mom-- that I might have that genetic disposition-- I am hyper conscious of my reactions to things with my kids all the time and have had a hard time setting firm limits with them because xAH claims I "abuse" them (even when we were married) if I would say no...
So, he of course is playing on what he KNOWS my deepest fears are...
DD10 definitely tries to play good cop/bad cop and undoubtedly complains about me to her dad... In fact she has hinted at the fact that he's a lot nicer to her when she tells him "bad" things about me...
So he's made his affection for her contingent on her complaining about me?!?!?! Insane right?
I need to not read his emails anymore-- that's for sure...
I know, logically, that he's drunk and being insane... I know all of that...
But reading those things-- my deepest, darkest, most vulnerable times, and having him tell me I will do all of that to my own kids, is almost too much to handle...
He's SO unstable and his lines about MY needing inpatient care are clearly a massive projection...
I really really empathize with you here. Abusers tend to put blame in the MOST ridiculous way on others in order to make themselves look better, which logically makes no sense, none of this is logical. Not only that but he his manipulating and hitting you where it hurts the MOST. Your children who you love dearly and are trying to hard to protect. Agreed with above. Document. Your daughters seem old enough to testify that you are not abusing them. I understand how sickening this must be for you, and man do I see so many similarities between our exes. My heart is with you here. Even t hough you know these are crazy rantings of an alcoholic it doesnt make it sting any less. Keep doing what you know is right and try to have faith that the truth with prevail. I am so so sorry you are going through this. (I should really take my own advice). Sending all the love and support. Message me anytime.