You are right, it really does "pare down" to doing this yourself, alone. Your drinking problem is essentially between you and yourself, even though I could swear there are people who would "drive me to drink". I've had to toss that mentality out and believe that no matter how much other people drove me crazy, drinking over it was not an option. She didn't want you to have that "problem", sure, I get that and it really hurts to get dumped because of that problem. You're likely still recovering from the break-up, so hang tight. You're trying to tackle a few problems at the same time, but that's life, right? Sometimes we feel like we need to be an octopus with several tentacles to "do it all". I can be very type "A" in my approach to things including my career and I'm still grappling with my perfectionist tendencies. It's a work in progress. Hang tight. It'll be so worth it. You are starting on a path of brain healing...