LOL ok SR... Thanks Dee.
I have withdrawn from much of life lately. Since the last crash and burn at the last job,I have been coming to accept that I haven't really a place in life. I mean heck even my own family never wanted me and I paid for the fact that I was a "mistake".
I've never fit in and was made to know I was unwanted by all those around me when I was young. Later as an adult I was more ostracized and excluded from things. Talked about behind my back at work and other such things that adults bond over.
Today's ever more shallow world where people are commended and applauded not for things they do but for their selfies and proclamations via social media, snark contests and blatant fishing for validation leaves me feeling even more ostracized and alone. I can't partake much. And adults are prone more and more to behave like teens in the face of all this. Oh, I try and partake- but for example, I may share on social media a drawing I've made- however a picture of someone's shoe collection or their face with a new eyeshadow will garner far more attention.
I don't have what it takes for those reindeer games. That leads to the big "L" in HALT.
Also I am getting a little annoyed with people who strictly self diagnose and decide they have a thing, based on absolutely nothing. It really demeans the genuine hardship and heartbreak someone like me has gone through in life. Because they have not. I am here, now, at this place- jobless and uninsured again, after many, many years of being dirt poor and getting by on the meager wages to be had doing labor jobs- after surviving everything I described above, and suffering the consequences of a neurological disorder, because I do in fact have that disorder. And my entire life has suffered greatly for it.
I am wearing thin with people convincing themselves they are slightly quirky and so must have something. The alienation, sadness, confusion and life difficulties this has caused me go far and beyond a few simple quirks.