It's absolutely amazing how hard an alcoholic will fight to deny they are an alcoholic. They will fight and fight and fight to be able to keep drinking. all the while losing one thing after another. Just shows how strong addiction is. I heard someone say at a meeting that it is much harder to get sober than it is to stay sober, and that's the truth.
Have you accepted the fact that you're an alcoholic? I mean, really accepted it with no reservations. If you have; are you willing to work your tail off to get sober, including the pain and misery that always comes in early sobriety, and make all the changes you need to make to stay sober?
I really hope you are, cause things will only get worse the longer you put it off. John