Well from my experience (Im a woman, and suffer from alcoholism) although partners complain a hell of a lot about the drinking and problems, I think some do secretly enjoy being the "good" one and the power it has over someone grovelling over the things they do drunk.
I think its hard for some partners to move on to a more equal relationship, once the addict is in recovery. So some will still try to find a way to "control" emotionally. That's my experience anyway..and men do it as well as women :P