Therapy, counseling, AA, etc... There is help out there if you want it. And trust me this is coming from a guy who has gotten on and off the carousel a million times. Your original title of this post was Day 3. That was the day that always broke me. Day 1 would be anxiety and remorse through the roof. Day 2 I'd start to come out of the fog and then invariably something on that 3rd day made me think I could go back to it. That usually resulted in a bender of god knows how long. Look for help or stay here at least and post and READ! I read on this site probably for 2 whole years before I decided to join. I'm glad I did. There are a lot good people and good support here but if you need more try and seek it out. Again this is coming from a guy who knows how hard that can be to do. Good luck to you.
TF