I too am an alcoholic egomaniac with an inferiority complex. My ego tells me I am unique - the truth simply is that I am a run of the mill, garden variety drunk.
Alcohol did indeed wash away these feelings of less than. " Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity."
Ours is a progressive disease - over time we get worse, never better. Some are fortunate to have a moment of clarity that readys them to a new path of willingness to change. They have found that life is better than death, health preferred over illness.
Please consider seeking the help you may need. There are options and we don't have to accept a life of misery. I know, that was me less than two years ago.