Hi everyone. I'm feeling pretty good and positive this morning. We had a really good group yesterday, very informative and more than that, healing. I'm down to one IV a day finally. I think they will start to taper the meds soon too, which I am happy about but also nervous about. They have really helped keep severe cravings at bay. They still come, but are completely manageable. I've made so many nice friends here, I love just having a quick chat with various people, we can all relate in some way. Sometimes they have advice for me and sometimes I have advice for them. It is such a helpful environment to be surrounded 24/7 by people who totally get it. The other night I just couldn't sleep and went outside to have a little walk and a smoke (I have GOT to stop!!!) and found another woman there who is here for bulimia and obesity. While our addictions are different we were able to talk about our feelings, how we deal when faced with an environment full of the things we are addicted too, etc. It was nice.
Yesterday I went out for the first time. My ex MIL and FIL came to pick me up. They brought me some beautiful flowers. I showed them around and then we went to the train station to pick up FIL's sister and we all went to lunch. The entire morning I was shaking with nerves. I feel so safe here and didn't know if I was ready to go out. But I did it. We went to a very nice restaurant and when he waiter asked for our wine order we all said we just wanted water. Which was a huge gift for me because my FIL (who does not have a problem with alcohol) does like a glass of wine with his meals. There were other tables drinking around me which gave me some moments of tension. However, one of my my friends here suggested a good strategy which I used. Whenever I saw a glass or bottle of wine, picture the faces of my children instead of the glass. When I returned they gave me the alcohol test and of course everything was fine. I also returned to my room to find the kind nurses had found a vase and arranged my flowers in it for me. So, so kind.
Today is Saturday, not much to do at all. I plan to try and nap a little, maybe read some.
I want to share something personal with all of you.
This is a picture I took the morning I arrived at rehab:
This is me after 12 days of detox and intensive therapy/groups/psychologists and doctor's care:
