I love this thread. Change used to scare me. And I realized that even with the awfulness that was my husband, that had become my normal-no matter how much I prayed for it to not be. Changing that scared me. But one event, after hundreds of others that were just as awful, changed everything for me. But really, it wasn't THE event, it was the simple fact that I had changed. I was ready and willing and able to say no more and call the police and just say NO. I have changed so much in the past few years I barely recognize who I used to be.
W-I too feel the same way sometimes, well, a lot, about my ex. I feel sorry that he was abused and whatever other secrets he carries, I feel sorry he has been led down the path of the devil by others and not in the light and truth, I feel sorry he can't cope and doesn't chose help and recovery, I feel sorry that he hurts so much that he feels the need to lie to others and avoid his reality caused by his own actions, I feel sorry that he lost a wife that did truly love him and just wabted to get better and wabted him to get better and two amazing kids.... I feel these things but none of those are mine to own-so it's none of my business and not mine to fix. These things I've changed the most in. I learned years ago to stay on my side of the street-change is NOT the four letter word I thought it was. Change is good-it's all about your perspective and having faith in your higher power.
I don't know where my story ends, but it will involve a lot of change and will not ever include the words, "I gave up ".
Great thread, y'all. I've enjoyed reading all your words.