Bluelily, Ah yes, the throwing of the computer against a wall, I'm well acquainted with that feeling. Now, as translators, we both know that the computer is in fact a money-making machine. I know, I know, the A in our life seem to think that the money thingy does it fact grow on trees, but we know better! As such, I don't think it would be a good idea to throw the nice but expensive new money-making machine against the wall. I've grown accustomed to having food on the table and clothes on my back! As I live in the city and don't have a car, I unfortunately cannot live out my fantasy of taking a baseball bat to a salvage yard and beating the cars until I pass out from exhaustion. As Dandylion suggested I would be a healthy way of releasing the rage, I pass on her suggestion to you if it is in the realm of possibility for you. I've also been doing the same as you. I try to keep the whole picture in mind. It's hard to do when flooded by a wave of rage, but it's easier when it subsides a bit. I don't know for you, but at the very least, these episodes of anger and rage have greatly expanded my range of insults. Both in English and in French. I've decided to see it as a creative outlet and as continuing education as a translator. When life gives you lemon, I guess you have no choice but to make lemonade! Fourourgirls, Sometimes, I think that knowing it will get better is the worst part of it. ADHD or not, I am not very patient. I just want to get there already. But I know I have to go through all those damn stages! It's true, I have an amazing support system. Some people have many many friends, but not many they can confided in or rely on. I don't have many friends, but the ones I have are really close friends. They are people that are always on my side no matter what. They will never judge me and will always be there to help me if I need to. And I realized something last night. The fucktard was always telling me that I wasn't there for him when he needed it, etc. And I kept on telling him that I've always been there for him. As I've said before, it's hard sometimes and I feel lonely as all but one of my friends are married, 3 of them have kids and don't live in the city, and another one is going to have her first child in a month. So yes, they cannot come rushing every time I need them. Time together has to be planned in advance. And sometimes, plans are canceled because the kids are sick or they have a family emergency. But they are always there for me. Not always in the way I would like them to, but they are there for me. I felt alone this weekend. I would've loved nothing more than to be surrounded by them, but they couldn't. However, they all took the time to be there for me in ways they could. They talked to me on the phone, texted me, chatted on FB with me. They supported me in ways that were possible for them. And that's where I realized the difference between me and the fucktard (I'm really loving that new name for him): To him, it's not support if it's not done in the way he wants it to be done. To me, support is support. I understand that my friends have their own lives and responsibilities, and I'm happy that they still take the time to be there for me in any way they can at the time. Just now, a friend message me to wish me a wonderful day of dedicated me time as she knows that I've planned to see my therapist this morning, get a massage and a facial this afternoon and go to my dance class tonight. That, in my book, is the very definition of support.