Kata,
I donīt have ADHD but Iīm feeling the same way you do! It scares me because I even imagined myself throwing my new computer against the wall to smash it - I didnīt but it wasnīt a very uplifting thought.
Today I was at the grocery store and I remembered the times we went there together and it made me sad. I thought we really mustīve looked like a stable, happy couple if we were doing domestic chores together. Then I remembered one time after his grandmaīs funeral when we went to buy some things. We were both in formal clothing and mustīve looked really nice. Only, then I remembered the full picture: he was mostly buying wine and vodka, bottles and bottles of it. Also, the previous night I had stayed at his place and he had one of his terrible rants, it got so bad it made me cry. I wanted to go home but didnīt because his grandma had died and I wanted to be loyal to him. Also, I was afraid he would make it seem like I was the heartless one who made some drama on the night before his grandmotherīs funeral.
So yeah, when I remembered the details it made me regain some perspective. Not to say I donīt miss the nice parts but they were more and more few and between. So Iīm thinking whenever I feel sad or angry Iīll try to keep the whole picture in mind, perhaps then Iīll get to only feeling relief.