I really must be my own worst enemy and not thinking things through at all - all good this morning been getting more and more excitable / hyper as the morning wore on we took the kids to the mall - no issues but could feel myself going up and needing to calm - we were then going for another meal - last nights went fine - got to the restaurant which is local to where we live and as soon as we walked through the door I went again - straight outside panicked / feeling really sick and totally uncomfortable my wife and daughter sat with me not really following and other family members arrived but I just had to make an excuse that I didn't feel well and exit quickly so drove home and now sat round at my mums - bit of chat and a call from a friend that I had to answer - calmed down and snapped back to fine then the wife calls and I'm going all weird again - my head is so far all over the place at present its got beyond a joke. Not even considering that drinking is an option or the answer just want this madness to stop,
I know now, after the event that I've obviously set off another massive trigger in the fact that the place is also a hotel and one of my last nights out in October was spent there on an absolute mad one that had started the same day off in the restaurant - I honestly hadn't even considered / remembered that as anything substantial prior to going or as it being an issue and as I say last night went fine (not a place if been to before tho thinking about it).
Really do need to think things through properly.