RedAndy

Off out now to a big football match - a place and event I've always associated with heavy drinking sessions and the cravings and urges have been there all afternoon - I know I won't drink or use but just wishing I could stop thinking about it and obsessing, its been constant - supposed to be an enjoyable evening but this is driving me nuts again to the point where I would rather ditch it but gonna make myself look a fool if I do - not feeling any excitement at all right now just anxious again and annoyed with myself that I'm letting this rule my life - it really is constant - I'm going for the football and a bite to eat first but all I want to really do is get smashed even tho I know I won't and I sound stupid even speaking about it to anyone.

Coldfusion

I don't think it's a good idea to force yourself into a situation where you might drink.

CaseyW

Don't be afraid to put your recovery first and not go at all or leave if it gets to be too much. How many times have you "looked the fool" because of your drinking? I'd much rather look like one because I'm trying to straighten out my life.

Check in often, let us know how it's going please. You're in my thoughts and prayers...

FormerWineGirl

IMO, if you aren't feeling it, don't go. Don't look at it as ruling your life, it's far too early to come to that conclusion. At this point, you are protecting a seedling from a wind storm. You are going to grow stronger with time, but don't force yourself to do anything that you aren't comfortable with.

doggonecarl

Sobriety first, Football much further down the list. Don't get your priorities confused.

Soberwolf

Great self awareness now use it & don't go you have highlighted exactly why you shouldn't go

Andy I'm sorry but if your suffering urges & cravings even if you know you won't drink whats the point of testing it of all nights St Patrick's there will be drinking everywhere

My advice is do not go not worth it

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

RedAndy

Oh a million and one times I've looked and been the fool at the football especially - luckily lads I'm going with tonight aren't drinking either so not going in any pubs or anything, no way I could do that - I'm 100 % not gonna drink just wishing it didn't have such a grip on controlling how I feel alot of the time and making me feel like crap again when I should be able to get on with stuff without it playing with my head.

lein

It won't be a constant obsession, thinking about drinking..forever..if you think you might not enjoy it and all your mates will be drinking..what's one footy match?
On the other hand, if you can still enjoy the footy without drink and you think it might give you a lift..go!

tufty13

I don't think you're "letting" anything "rule your life" Andy.

You're recovering from years of partying.

Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself.

Acknowledge the discomfort, the anxiety and any desire you have to get smashed.

Notice how it all feels in your body. Is it your stomach? Is it in your legs?
Maybe you've got a headache?

Pay attention to how it is in your body, then breath deeply. Wiggle your toes in your shoes.

Then watch Martial score a hat trick.

Ok, I've gone too far.

Have a great time, you're going to be absolutely fine mate.

RedAndy

I'm in the car and already nearly there, like I say not drinking just utterly fed up that I can't get this out of my head - sparkling water and a big meal straight away and a bit of conversation to take my mind off it

lein

Once you get into the match..you probably will forget all about drinking

Kris47

Hi Andy,

I had to forgo drinking situations in early sobriety. I am glad I did. Why tempt yourself before you are ready. Why feel uncomfortable. Get your sobriety on even keeling. If you are not feeling right about this, there's always another better time. Congrats on being Sober!

RedAndy

Thanks guys, just went into blind panic for a few minutes but calming down again now sat down chattIng with a water and food on the way.

With a couple of good lads and like I say they aren't drinking so I am determined I can go and enjoy the football (hopefully - Tufty that would definitely do !!)

amyrose

Don't forget you can always leave. Glad you have good friends who are part of a sober solution, but no need to torture yourself to prove success. Glad you came here to vent!

RedAndy

Had a bite to eat which was in the local mall then driven to the ground - right outside and just waiting in the car until near ko so no going past all the old haunts or bumping into other mates who will be about and all on it - sat in a different part of the ground from where I have always sat so won't be having to see all the usual faces who have only known me for how drunk I used be at every match.

Here for the football and going to enjoy it sober - as long as we win !!

OfEpiphany

don't even put yourself in those situations for a while. you're literally just tempting yourself and putting those unnecessary thoughts into your mind.

football games aren't going anywhere, I realized sobriety is much easier at the start if you simply avoid situations where alcohol is constantly consumed.

IronPhoenix

Keep Strong Andy. I still get those "It doesn't seem fair" moments especially now here in the States it is college basketball time and all I'd want to do is go to the pub with some mates and watch games while having many drinks...but I know I can't do that. So much work put in as of now and am starting to see the benefits.

You and I came on here about the same time - so you have some great work put in already as well. One day at a time my friend.

RedAndy

Thanks all, back home now and went ok in the end once I got in the stadium (except the result!!), it is doing my head in how worked up I keep getting. I knew I wouldn't drink but it's just the constant thoughts day in day out are all consuming - I need a break from it, I'm absolutely obsessed with it all the time, not just the drink but what's going on in my head - seems like little or no peace from it at present and I don't know what I can do to stop it.

Jtmlk

Well done not drinking tonight. I think if your becoming obsessed with thoughts of drinking you need a proper recovery plan, be it AA, counselling, gym or whatever. It does get easier and every day my sober muscles get a tiny bit stronger.

MIRecovery

I do things I enjoy and if I don't enjoy them I don't do them.

Sobriety is about changing not trying to make your old life work without alcohol