I was in that stage for quite a while: where I wanted to want to stop. I kept wondering "what's it going to take?" for me to be willing to get sober again.
It wasn't until the pain of drinking got worse than the pain of doing what I needed to do to get and stay sober.
Until I reached that point, I'd think a lot about my drinking, knowing it would only get worse. I'd think about what could happen if I continued. I was afraid I would drive drunk in a blackout or wake up on my front lawn naked or something. Or I'd kill someone or myself in a blackout. I kept praying for help.
At the end of my last binge, I got up, looked at the cans of beer thrown around my back yard and something just clicked inside of me. "That's it, I'm done" was my thought. I can only contribute that to grace. The grace of god, the grace of the universe, whatever it was, I was finally ready to stop. I let go of trying to prove that I could control it, and went back to AA.
I am well aware that some never reach that point. They die before they'll let go.