Thirteenth

Not a new situation to all you good folks, and I'm not new to this forum. I can't seem to get to the wanting to be sober more than wanting to drink stage. I'm posting because I want something different even though I'm still not there mentally. Perhaps a reply might finally get me to see the light. I honestly don't know, but reaching out can't hurt.

I've been a daily for longer than I'm prepared to admit. I've also read this forum daily for at least two years, not counting the previous time I was a member. I have chosen not to return under that identity, but know that I have not forgotten any help I was offered.

I've not had any major consequences, aside from isolation. So yeah, that's not not major. I tend to minimize that aspect. I'll learn of any potential health aspects (of which I'm not already aware) with my next physical in a few weeks.

Bottom line: perhaps I need some tough love to get me to see what I seem to refuse to see. I might join the March class, but I remain guarded and unsure of my ability to do so and not fail, be a better person, etc.

Thanks for reading.