Originally Posted by redatlanta

I don't think its an odd thing for someone to make the statement that they "can tell what you are feeling". Body language and facial expression say a lot. Certainly people can mistake, the question is was he wrong about what you were feeling? Did you say "i feel.....", and he responded "No you don't, you feel....."? By your description it sounds like he was on the defensive rather than being on the offensive. Could be wrong...its how it reads.

I don't see red flags here. I see that you two got into it. Happens, and will happen again. He is NOT your husband, but you are judging him by the actions of your Ex which is not fair. Its normal to look out for things in others that are personalities or behaviors that are not ok. As humans we collectively share personality traits that aren't great - perhaps he does share some of these with your ex, it doesn't make him your ex.

Just the other day you wrote a very nice post about this man and how happy you have been. What I am reading is that you want to control the manner in which he speaks....instead of asking you what you felt he told you. We could dissect human language skills all day long, sometimes people make statements instead of questions. Now he has apologized and you are unaccepting of the apology because the "it sounds so much like the AHX's excuses to endlessly justify bad behavior and dismiss my feelings". How so? He said he doesn't mean to hurt you and he is sorry for his word selection, and how your perceived them, what should he have said? Are you going to instruct him on how to apologize to you?

I would advise dropping it for a day a revisiting tomorrow. Clearly he triggered you, I doubt on purpose. Be of clear mind when you make up you decide what this all means. Then move forward with how you want to handle it. Your EX is a horrible, mind abusing person so I get your sensitivity to such matters.