I'm supporting you all the way, todibo. I have been embarrassed beyond belief from the antics of my 26 y.o. alcoholic son. I wish I had been tougher with him at 21- it may have saved us years of grief. Your sadness is real, both for the lost potential of your son, and for your own situation. Take care of your younger one and detach from the older one. He can go the Salvation Army and find some housing. It may make all the difference. Please keep in touch here -it will save your sanity.