Bunny211, nice post. I feel your pain. I fear drinking which brought me to this place but miss the escape. Remember the TV show "Cheers" I'm playing the theme song in my head. I'm lonely and miss my girlfriend. My last job paid over $200,000/year. Last week I got a pay check for $300. I don't even care about the money. It was good to do something and get paid for it. I'm 53 and like most have had a bumpy ride. . Loneliness has always fixed itself in time. As SGT. Schutz of Hogan's Hero's said "Women are like wars, there's always another coming along." I've never had that stable of income so that to fixes itself with time. There are always opportunities that come along in life, being sober will help you see them.
I've never looked to a man or woman to fix my problems. It's seems to me it might fix some problems but bring along a whole new set of them. Some things in life are to be endured. When they are passed you will be much stronger.