Anyone else ever feel this way
Do you ever think "Oh my God this is SUCH a struggle, I will never get to where I want to be. Maybe I am just a colossal f### up and I don't belong on this earth. If I am going to be miserable I might as well DRINK and be miserable drunk...better than being miserable sober."
Yeah that thought is running through my head today. I make crap money. Can barely afford my bills. 2 years ago I was making money hand over fist, had a nice condo outside boston, newer car, nice vacations, dinners with friends. I live on cape cod and there are no high paying executive assistant jobs down here. None. I'm barely getting by down here. But I am scared to move back up to Boston and that is where the jobs are. Maybe if I start dating someone who has their sh1t together I'd be ok...he could take care of me. I hate this panicky feeling of being all alone and having to take care of myself. I really need to stop eating junk, lose 20 lbs and date someone...then I'd be ok.
Yes...I see the insanity in all I have written. No, I am not going to drink. Just needed to vent.