Neither have I soberwolf, only misery. Thats what I think, drink doesn't equal good times and relaxation, it equals pain, confusion, humiliation and any other negative emotion you can name.
At this stage, I don't want to hear the virtues of drink, it's cost me too much of my life.
On a brighter note, tonight, here ending day 4 I am content and in a happy place.
My grandson is staying over with me (he's 5) and he is the light of my life, he has me in constant giggles, he's the funniest little chap I ever came across.
And tonight I had a little faith restored in human nature, a big lift. He has this toy Yoshi (a dinosaur teddy from the Mario games). I bought him it years ago and he takes it everywhere...sleeps with it, everything.
Tonight while we were out and about on the bus. After we got off, the bus went off service and back to the depot for the night (this was 6pm). After the bus drove away I heard this peircing scream "YOOOSHHHII" yep he's left it on the bus.
So we caught another bus to the bus depot. It was closed for the night apart from a bloke in the control office. I explained about the teddy left on the bus, and he explained that the bus had gone to the wash, no driver had handed anything in, he was in the office alone and couldn't leave it. Anyway, he said, over 70 buses from that company get pulled off the roads at 6pm and they were returned to the compound after the wash.
Then he looked at my grandsons worried face and wringing hands and said at 7.30 when someone else came in the office he would go and look for the toy. He took my address and said if he found it he would ask an inspector who was coming off shift to drop it off on his way home.
8pm knock at the door, bloke standing there saying "does Yoshi bear live here?" haha
What a kind thing to do! Both of those men..I'm sure not many people would be too happy to go out of their way after a hard shift at work to return a childs toy.
My grandson is now fast asleep in bed, tucked up with Yoshi and all is well with the world.
I don't feel like contaminating my mind with bad memories from past drinking tonight, so Im giving my trip down memory (or non memory more like) a miss tonight