but I can't get on my account. My name was Tansy on my old account.. Am updating the good and the bad today.
The good:- I still have my boys living with me and we moved to a nicer area before Christmas, They are happy and settled with me. Life is peaceful. They have seen their dad for what he is and are coming to terms with that with help.
I got my cats back
They are also happy and settled.
I met someone. We are taking it slow. No sleepovers, no expectations just lots of chat and dates. He's very caring and supportive and gets on well with my boys. He's helped a lot in my recovery process.
My exah moved house and we no longer hear from him.
I can laugh now. He phoned out of the blue asking me to take a leather belt, 40 cigarettes and a new wheelchair to the hospital to him, where he was in yet again. I didn't go but his shopping list made me grin to myself. His antics don't bother me anymore.
My two eldest still visit and we are close.
The bad:-
I got into a strange church that, for a while, tried to control me. I've left now but it made a huge gap in my friendships as all of them were in that church. My voluntary jobs were in the church too. I am at a bit of a loose end now.
My estranged dd is expecting a child and getting married. It has hit me how much I have lost with this news. She wrote me to tell me and reiterated I was never seeing the baby or any future ones. It was a mean spiteful letter. I didn't deserve it.
I've been ill. I had pneumonia and have not felt great for 3 months healthwise.
What I have learnt?
I was/am way more screwed up then I gave myself credit for
....way more. lol . Normal things like my bf hugging me or sitting with his arm around me while we watch TV are new to me. Him bringing me groceries when I was ill was new to me too. I am not used to be cared for. It's great in one way and scary in another. The more normal life becomes the more I see how far I have to go. Am strong and OK by myself. I like myself now.
So that's me. Still plodding two steps forward 3 steps back.