This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING: Today I let go of my denial, face the truth, and celebrate my recovery.
- heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION: I cannot see what people do not do.
I meditate on this often. I felt directed and began to practice the action of inaction, especially in our meetings. I observed that EVERYTHING works out without my help. Here are some of the actions that I do not take:
I share sometimes but not every time. If I wait, someone else often shares what I would have said. Amazing! When I do share, I can speak too long and it becomes a speaker meeting; but I do this less often than before.
I never mention membership or affiliation with any other organization or how long I’ve been around. Never helps. Sometimes it hinders my effectiveness.
I (almost) never use profanity in a meeting. The principle is to be of maximum service. I can’t imagine ever offending anyone with my lack of profanity but I can imagine the opposite.
I never speak twice. Do I sometimes want to? Yes.
I never cross-talk or ask anyone anything in the context of the meeting.
I never interrupt the spontaneous blessed silence that occasionally occurs during a meeting. It is rare. It is amazing. Silence can speak volumes should I choose to listen.
I never apologize or explain if I arrive late or must leave early. Most don’t notice and all don’t care.
I never share “at” anyone when they “do it wrong”. I don’t help people complete their sentences or help them with pronunciation when they get stuck.
I never fetch tissues, touch someone, or disrupt their tears, feelings or process in any way. Previously those activities were driven by my discomfort rather than compassion.
As I reflect back, I was quite the piece of work on many levels when I began this recovery journey. I can only imagine, to my horror sometimes, how other more experienced members were practicing many behaviors that I could not see. For the most part, what I saw was loving acceptance, no matter how disruptive or far off the mark I may have been.
I love the beach. Sometimes I see myself as one grain of sand on the beach of life. I am a small part of a greater whole. The beach was here before I washed ashore and it will remain, with all of its splendor, long after I am washed back into the sea. I am a grain of sand. I am not the beach.
Daily share from the forum can be found here:
Today's Sharing - Today's Hope 