Not that I am at that yet .. but maybe only a rock bottom can bring about that desire to stay sober more than drinking mentality.
What is exactly rock bottom? I heard it said that every bottom has a trap door and for some like my XABF, rock bottom is death.
I am what some would call a "high bottom" alcoholic. The way I see it is that I have little tolerance for pain.
Books are great but you also have to take action and the first action is to quit drinking and to commit to not drink no matter what.
Have you read about AVRT? It s a good technique to recognize that voice in your head which tells you that you have not hit rock bottom yet and that it is ok to drink because your gf won't be too upset.
It is also a way to recognize that this was not an impulse/spur of the moment thing but that you actually made a conscious decision to drink since you turned back to get your id!
A lot of people flirting with relapsing would probably have seen not having an id as a lucky break and would have enjoyed a soda or a juice at the restaurant.
You will have to make up your mind as to whether you want to be sober or not and that is unfortunately something we cannot do for you.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html