Originally Posted by
EveningRose 
.... It seems to me that living with an alcoholic family is the emotional equivalent. Constant pain. It dulls some days, but it never stops.....
I like that, I think it's a perfect analogy.
Originally Posted by
EveningRose .... How do we cope with knowing this is our life, and this ugliness is NOT going to end? Ever.....
People with chronic pain do _not_ talk about "recovery", because it never gets better. ACoA's talk about recovery because we _do_ get better.
I use the "three A's" of recovery from my dysfunctinal upbringing.
The first thing I did was come to the Awareness that it was _not_ my life. It was the life that was forced upon me through brainwashing from the adults in my "Family Of Origin."
Next I had to work on Accepting that I needed to build a new life for myself, of my own choosing, separate from all toxic and dysfunctional people. As long as I stayed in _their_ life I would feel the feelings _they_ wanted me to feel.
Then I had to take Action, which for me was a couple good therapists and a lot meetings of 12 step programs. Today I _choose_ which people I want in the life I have built for me, and I get to have my own feelings. My life today is world's better than what I had when I first got out of that crazy family, I would never even think of going back.
Mike
