Refer to your divorce decree, what does it direct you to do as far as visitation, and does it address Birthdays? Follow it to the letter. In the future send ONE email. ONE, not 5. Change your settings in email to notify you if the email has been read.
He's supposed to be here Fri evening into Sat to see the kids. That is what the decree says. But he rarely shows. Instead, he bails, then texts me Sat am to demand and harass that I meet him when he does choose to show up. And I have historically done that bc I want the kids to see him if they want to and I am afraid of being told that I am keeping them from him (even though he is skipping his time technically by failing to show the night before)
He is to let me know by 5 pm Wed if he will not be showing up for his scheduled parenting time.
His nonsense about her bday and his texting and emailing and calling indicates to me he has NO plan to come Fri evening and wants me to then jump through hoops to drop the kids with him sometime Sat when he does choose to show up.
I am terrified he will show up and make a scene with her friends around at her party-- he's done that each of the last 2 bdays for each of my kids... He can't STAND to have a day that is focussed on someone other than him and he causes chaos for the kids bc of it. I am scared.
His parenting time starts on Fri evening and goes through Sat morning. In one of his ranting emails last night he says it's hard for him to make it Fri, and wants me instead to sit around waiting for him to text me Sat to let me know when he'll be around and for me to drop her at a time that suits him on Sat am. As I have made plans to get stuff done out of town Sat morning for her late day party Sat and won't actually be available to meet him whenever he chooses to show up that day, I have said that I can not do that. I have directed him to the decree and asked that he let me know by 5 pm tonight if he plans to show for his scheduled parenting time. So my guess is that he is enraged that he is not being accommodated as his entitled mind believes he should be.
As of this morning I have decided that for DD's sake and right to a peaceful day, that if he is not here at 5 pm Fri, that is the end of the discussion about this for me. Perhaps I will offer he can take her for some time Sunday but I will NOT make her bday on Sat about accommodating the schedule of a grown man who can't or won't be bothered to show up per the decree.
The person whose feelings matter on DD's bday are hers. Not his.
Thoughts?
I texted to say "do not contact me again via text, email or phone". Refer to your divorce decree what does it say regarding communication? You have just told him he can have zero communication with you. That's not going to work, he has visitation.
I told him that regarding last night only. My mistake for not being clear about that here-- He can contact me in writing, per the decree, re; his visitation and whether he plans to come or not. And there are set times for him to do that by. He does not follow those terms though. And then 11th hour he starts to harass me and tell me he wants to see the kids and expects (bc I do it) that I will change plans to accommodate his last minute demands.
I am sorry I was not clear. I did not say no contact ever again-- just told him to stop drunkenly texting and emailing and calling repeatedly last night. And the fact that he continued is harassment I believe.