Just when I think I'm in a situation that no one else can relate to. . . I find a posting such as this. Faith. . . I'm exactly where you're at. My husband has stopped drinking for 3 weeks now and sometimes I wonder why I prayed for it so bad. He's not serving as a father, he's not serving as a husband, he's not serving as my lover, he's not serving as anything but a lump that sits on the couch in front of the TV and don't mumble a word to me or anyone else (including our daughter) for that matter. I prayed so hard for him to stop drinking. Miracleously it happened. . . haven't figured that one out yet. But now there's a huge wall between us and sometimes he treats me as though I'm the devil. There's no hugging, no loving, no communication, no acknowledgement of any kind.
I did go see a lawyer (twice). I asked about my rights. I asked about the process because I was scared to death that he would get some sort of custody over our child which I didn't want if he was still drinking. It was as though he knew I was seeing a lawyer because the minute I came home, he had "changed". At the time, when he was still drinking, I had made up my mind to divorce him. The decision was made. It took a while, but finally the answer was an easy one. He wasn't going to change and I wasn't going to live like that. But now I've been proven wrong. Now that he's stopped, I don't feel that it's justified anymore. It's like I'm in a worse situation than I was before (even though it's probably the same situation, isn't it. . . just to a different level). I'm back to not knowing what to do. It's no longer obvious to me.
Anyhow. . . I know I'm rambling and I appreciate you being here because I honestly do not even know how I feel anymore. I was so focused on ways to get him to stop drinking that now that it's happened, I'm not sure what to do. I don't know how to deal with him like this. I only know how to deal with him when he's drunk.
Then I wonder, is life supposed to be THIS hard?
Best wishes to you all. . . you're in my thoughts and prayers daily.