What I wanted to make clear, and didn't, in my post above was that his choices are about HIM and NOT about
you. You didn't fail in any way. There is no way that "trying harder" would have changed a thing other than to stress you out even more. What exactly would you have "tried harder"
at? Bending to his every whim? Protecting him from the consequences of his actions? Keeping him from having to act like a responsible adult, parent and partner?
Are any of those things something that you really think you should have to do as a condition of being married to someone?
As I said, read around the forum. There are plenty of threads of the "he chose his girlfriend over his family" variety, and you'll find a lot of great posts in those threads.
Sure, it's going to hurt. Hurt a LOT. But you're going to get over it and go on to a life that is so much better. Trust me. If you don't trust me, trust all the stories you see here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-stories.html