Welcome, I totally feel you! I actually got pregnant before we married and knew he was occasionally using and gradually realized it was more than I thought, but I married him anyway. Thinking with God, me and our baby that it would end not realizing the addiction had already started before I got into the picture. It did get better for a little while and now back on the roller coaster again and in the same predictiment. I'm at the cross roads now of trying ti decide to stick it out or deal with my loss. Lots of luck to you on this journey and I will be praying for you.